Five Steps to Join the Desktop Horticulture Revolution
I’ve joined the desktop horticulture revolution in the office. I took a bag mixed with potting compost and sand into the office along with a few seeds about a week ago. So far it hasn’t sprouted, but I’ve been taking a picture every day that I’ve been working in the office and I hope that by the end of the summer I should have a lovely little animation.
The Desktop Horticulture Revolution
What am I growing?
You know, that’s a really good question. I ought to be able to give you a really detailed technical answer, but right now I don’t have the packet of seeds to hand. What I do know is that there are three seeds in the bag. They’re all different varieties of peppers. One of them is a cherry pepper, another is a rocket pepper and the third should be a sweet pepper. When I find the packet I’ll let you know what the varieties are.
Why isn’t it looking green yet?
Have patience. The instructions on the packet said that the seeds needed 7-10 days to germinate. It’s only been six days, so don’t rush them. Besides desktop horticulture isn’t for the impatient, if you need peppers in a hurry go to the supermarket, or get an Amazon drone to deliver them or something.
What’s that high tech growing bag?
Another really good question. It’s a specialist desktop horticulture product that comes in boxes of 25 from that well known supplier Wilkinsons.
Don’t they make swords?
Not that Wilkinsons, the supplier of high tech bags to the desktop horticulture sector is the well known high street retailer fondly referred to as Wilkos. Don’t be fooled by the words on the box telling you that it is a food bag. It’s a fabulous growing container for your office produce.
Can anyone do desktop horticulture?
Not just anyone. There are a few must haves before you can set out on your journey to office self sufficiency. You need to have all of the following
- a desk in a warm office
- Some suitable containers
- A supply of seeds
- Sympathetic co-workers that can appreciate your environmental consciousness
If you’ve got all that then you too can join the desktop horticulture revolution.
I’ve been growing things on my desk/in my cubicle for a long time. The best was a coffee tree, that I started from a cutting a co-worker gave me. It grew to over 6 feet tall and produced enough beans that I made an actual cup of coffee from it! (Fairest-trade coffee ever; no one got exploited but the tree.)
The tree eventually got root-bound and died. The dead trunk is still in my office, and I annually decorate it for Christmas, with a paper cut-out of a round of ammunition (it’s a CARTRIDGE IN A BARE TREE, get it? hyuk hyuk hyuk…)
Now I am growing an orange tree, from some seeds I got from a satsuma I ate. It’s only six inches tall though.
Cool! I’m seriously impressed by the coffee tree. Only one I’ve seen growing in the UK was in the Eden Project down in Cornwall. I wonder if I get a cutting or some seeds.
Nice pun too.
Won’t be the first time a bag of manure has crossed your desk. Sorry, compost.
Sometimes I’ve described the job as shovelling it uphill…
Civil servants are soiling their desks?